i'm an onion..that what i am...it all makes sense now

hello everybody and welcome to yet another post on my blog.

so lately i am in a weird state.... not necessarily bad..lets describe it as numb. i feel as thought i am numb to feeling... like i'm caught in a fixed state. as though i inhaled... and began to exhale..but stopped .. and there i hang in the middle of exhaling.... so its weird.. i think during most of the day if i rub my face it feels as though i am only feeling half of what i should.. idn... i'm kinda stuck in this one place....its not like i'm depressed or sad or angry .. kinda a feeling of content.. but only content cause i'm not feeling anything.. does that make sense?...lol idn.. but yeah anyways...so whats new with all yall.. i actually dont have much to so so ill be off now.. ok bye!

update: after the utopia

so.... today was november 26. and rob was here! .. YAY!.. yah the day was great. serioulsy i had a great time.

but

now hes gone and .... i dont know......there arnt any words to describe what this feels like. .. i dont know... i wont say empty or like a piece of me is missing... because that jsut makes it sound as thought i live for him and i cant do anything without him and that is not the case.. but it feels as thought i have been deprived of a really great thing... like i missed out on something. like i was asleep when everybody went to a great party or i was skipped over and didnt get a slice of cake ... idn.. its hard to explaine... sigh.


*remembering*

concept

hello!
ok so concept was tonight, and i think it went really well!!! i liked it.. i excited for tomorrows!... tee hee so yeah dancing queen went good then dance was awsome.. i think i kinda messed up on something but it was small so oh well. then maybe i'm amazed i did mess up but i dont know if anybody noticed which is GOOD! lol *is relieved* and then yeah. so changing clothes situation in between the dance and maybe i'm amazed.. its like this: i run down the stairs in like 20 seconds... run to my stuff... like strip to get my skirt on and pull of my pants... this time i literally just took off my shirt and put on the other one leaving me in jsut my bra for like 1 second lol. but yeah overall it was good i had a lot of fun.. and 2 more shows to go! WOOT its jsut gonna keep getting better! ok well CONGRATS EVERYBODY!!!

1 day and 38 mins untill u know what! * i will not be coherent tomorrow*

BLAH!

ok hello.. and welcome... sorry it has taken me soo long to update. so heres is the scoop on my weekend....

FRIDAY: somehow this day seemed to work out in every aspect... everything was on time and perfect... everything was handed in and written and everything finished perfectly. we went to see HARRY POTTER!!!!! almost wet myself in excitment!!! omg... i love that movie... i love harry potter from the bottom of my being... like seriously .... i pity you immensly if u have not read it!....seriously. and Natale ! damn u and ur well trained bf. lol i love u. u deserve the best!. adn then after hp we hung out at natalies... i cant really remember what we did now that i think about it... i'm pretty sure i slept thru like half of it lol.

Saturday: seems soo far away... but it was jsut yesterday. i woke up and went to concept practice... then went to work... then came home and chilled for a bit .. called rob... he was busy so i was SUPPOSE to call him back in an hour... but i fell asleep and when i woke up it was too late and i felt soo bad casue it turns out he was waiting for my call and omg i ... gah! ... so yeah that was my saturday

Sunday: woke up ... vegged... went shopping.. got a bunch of stuff ; a x-mas tree for my room and a pair of kick but boots and some x-mas presents and makeup and yeah... stuff... and then i had concept practice which i showed up for jsut as they were finisheing but i dont care ... then i went to natalies house and we worked on our lating translation and then cass came and we worked on our latin project .. while being sidetracked every 2 mins... and we were in the weirdest moods... one minute we would be all happy and giddy and then it would all fall and everything was quiet. and depressing... us with all our boy problems/confusion/wantings. and others...

in general: concept is almost upon us and school is still giving us homework and problems are still there and work still happens ... stress is mounting and i dont know where to put it!... i cant wait 5 days! i cant... its too much i will most likly be incoherent by the time thursday rolls around. and then there is still like 2 days to go! ... hmmmm!!! *rolls into fetal position* ok.. yeah its definatly 12 and i am soo tired and i still have to do my gosh darn bio homework! i swear its days like today that becoming a blacksmith looks like the best way! i already have one of the requirements! ok ... bye y'all

* am i at the begining or still lost in space?*

have you ever had a race with a cloud?

oh cloud racing is fun stuff... more so cause it makes u feel slightly dizzy and out of place...ok u may not know what i'm tlking bout so i will tell u. ok soo when ur walking.. and the wind is blowing and if u look up the clouds are moving in the same direction as u are.. and if u walk while staring at the clouds it seems as thought ur walking with it or "racing" it lol... well today i experienced it and it was way cool... lol the cloud won however. so how has everybodies day been?.. .. mine has been good i suppose. its been pretty up and down happy one moment and about to kill somebody the next lol... actually today/ this morning i really couldnt even be touched like i just couldnt even handel it if somebody like brushed up against me thats how bad it was.. idn why .. thats jsut the way it is i suppose... lol then i got to bio and Danielle made me happy lol shes a really nice person i'm glad i met her. so yeah then school was ok ..nothing exciting... then concept practice which was fine .. then home.. and ... grrr family is very annoying.... just .. grrr....so yeah... now i'm writing this at 9:30... yup... tomorrow is firday and i am going to school once again and then begin my 4 day marathon of work.. work on friday saturday sunday and monday ... i'm not going to make it thru!... if i dont show up to school on monday its cause i lost it and i ended up in a psych ward somewhere in a friendly blue painted room with padded walls. yup ok so thats about all...
bye!



i know your out there, somewhere out there

general statment:

am i so forgettable that you wouldnt think to call..........


i freaking HATE society/people/being alone/telephones!

yeah thats right ... its 1:55 am...

QUOTE OF THE DAY!

"Remember when somebody had the flu you gave them chicken soup? well now the chicken in the soup can give them the flu" ~ Jay Lenno

lol it made me laugh