vent session 3... maybe 4.. i have lost count

ok so i know i dont use this, and i dont intend to become a regular blogger again, but i just needed to vent and because i know NOBODY reads this, i figured it was a good place to vent. and if in the case that somebody does read this... i dont care... I DONT CARE ONE BIT! it feels good to yell...

what my vent session is about you may wonder... what could i possibly have to vent about.... yeah welll i have found something so there...

anyways onto the problem. so these unbearably hideous, large and unnatractive gross things have decided to grow off of my midsection... same may call them lovehandles.. but i perfer to jsut call them what they are... FAT.. yes fat.. that gross buildup of what biologists would call triglycerides and plaque and gross names like that, some molecule with 3 fatty acid chains hanging off of it(yeah even in the molecule they hang!) ... yeah i cant stand it.... and sure there are some who may be like. omg why do you think you are fat, you arnt fat. but the point of the matter is that I think i'm fat and i hate it and thats all that matters. and sure you can be like so for the love of god.. just excercise and eat better and such... and sure thats what I"M TRYING TO DO!... but that brings me to my next point.. if i excercise i put on muscle mass and because i swear i'm part man! i build muscle mass in exponential ammounts! i swear i have the back of a male swimmer.. and what have i done to deserve the body of a man with lovehandles.. I DONT KNOW! but i dont like it.... gosh.....and just to point out a fact... muscle weighs more than fat... so even if i do loose the fat.. i will inevitably gain muscle cause i just have that much testosterone in me, and therefore will become heavier... and sure you can say that weight is just a number and it doesnt measure your muscle mass and water weight and such... and you can take that and run with it,.... but seriously... when it comes down to it...IT STILL MEANS SOMETHING, and so much in society is driven by how much you weigh and dropping the pounds...i have never seen a headline on a magazine say "drop the fat, but gain more weight in muscle mass while at it so that you are heavier than you were yo begin with! yay!" ..... have you? cause if you have please send it to me. so yeah.. the main point of the message is that i hate my body, and if i had the money i would change it but for now i dont so i have to live with it like this, however if there is anybody who would like to switch, i'm game for that..... i hope oneday somebody discovers a way to just attach your head to a machine and live that way....anyways.. thats all i have to say... thank you for listening... i feel better....