update: after the utopia

so.... today was november 26. and rob was here! .. YAY!.. yah the day was great. serioulsy i had a great time.

but

now hes gone and .... i dont know......there arnt any words to describe what this feels like. .. i dont know... i wont say empty or like a piece of me is missing... because that jsut makes it sound as thought i live for him and i cant do anything without him and that is not the case.. but it feels as thought i have been deprived of a really great thing... like i missed out on something. like i was asleep when everybody went to a great party or i was skipped over and didnt get a slice of cake ... idn.. its hard to explaine... sigh.


*remembering*